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^^
 Life's a bitch. People are happily living. He doesn't. A grotesque life that is. Ups and downs. Wait. Erase the "Ups". Calling for Mr. Time-traveller. Pick him up and undo everything in life. Sometimes mistakes comes around. The harsh reminisce. Discriminating his life completely. Saying it's no use has no meaning. Try saying no hope? No possibilities? No chances? Piss off. See and "woah!" ?^^  Have you ever had an infatuation for someone so strongthat its all you can think of? Now I don't mean all you think of as in holding them in your mind.. I mean when you become so engrosed with the thought of that person that it hurts just to be awake.. and sometimes more. Its like being stuck in a pit of sand.. the more you struggle to get them off your mind the more you sink. When looking into their eyes makes you feel like you're looking into à sea of all that love has ever been. Or where touching them is shock that runs through your whole body burning with desire and need. What if that person felt that way about you too.. or so they said. What do you do then. Can you make the infatuation calm.. will it ever stop.. do you even want it to? Not going out today. Probably rotting. uh-huh. Might be meeting __ tommorow. __'s having flu and fever today. Hope __'s okay tommorow. Get well soon , ___ . Maybe I'm just too prolly over confident. Infatuations. Baaaah. I know it will end up bad. Faiz = Relationship sucker. ): See and "woah!" ?^^  Probably busy watching tv or dealing with your own problems Maybe busy laughing and chasing butterflies. Maybe spending afternoons in the grass, Smelling the sun, Tasting life. Don't have time to worry about me. Pretend that you care. Just want. Someone to hear me. Don't expect. To understand or care or even listen. Hoping. That you will. I think of life as a waterfall. hope and happiness and love fall into the hands of the people waiting below.Everyone is caught up with someone else, and i'm left standing on the sidelines, wondering what i did wrong. people tell me to open my eyes, but when i do, everything's empty. people tell me to listen and learn, but the only thing i've learned is that denial is prettier than reality.Everyone's beautiful until you look under the mask.Late at night, I’m always cold. shivering. there’s never enough inside of me to keep me warm, and it’s always too quiet, too lonely.I've decided that everyone has it wrong. see, they go around pretending things will get better and they'll make it through this and everything will be fine.Except there's no guarantee that it will. Because life is not a nightmare. The nightmare is life. Life is a chess game, but i've lost my queen. life is an ocean, but i never learned to swim. life is a battle, but i'm too tired to fight.There isn't anything worth fighting for, anyway.Sometimes, we'll watch movies as a family. sometimes, i'll close my eyes and watch with only my ears and somehow, it's more beautiful then. See and "woah!" ?^^  Wait..It was a word that I often hear so much Along the lines that I couldn't find I close my eyes so hard Hoping that someone will appear In front of me upon a sunset light Thinking too hard Patience growing thin So long it remains Should I wait? For someone to jump in Should I wait? For someone to kiss me Should I wait a month or year for someone to long for Making myself wait as I want to pray to see her Sometimes I look all over Knowing what has happened to me to recover No, I don't want to surrender Watching tv and listening to songs at night Singing them as I write such poetry Why do I feel so lonely? It was a word that I continue to be in Along the times that I have cried Should I wait? For someone to jump in Should I wait? For someone to kiss me Should I wait a month or year for someone to long for Making myself wait as I want to pray to see her Long to short distance It doesn't bother nor matter at me I will give her all my honesty My trust and truth The courage that burns in me It's just for someone so sweetly She could be, the luckiest one out there I'll wait.. I'll wait for as long as I really can Even if my time is completely short I surely have no regrets in my life No complaints to give diss out or give a shout Should I wait? For someone that's true Should I wait? For someone that's really real Should I wait? For someone that's just herself Should I.. Wait so much that I can't stand it Should I.. Wait to keep myself strong that I'm thinking very wrong Should I.. Wait for someone to enter my world of dreams Should I.. Should I.. Should I wait for someone that's really looking for me.. Wait.. I'll wait for someone.. Just to wait for someone to love me just right... See and "woah!" ?^^  On this bouncing ball We call earth Everyone’s waiting Waiting for a second chance Waiting for the next train Waiting for someone, anyone Waiting for the day to end Waiting for answers Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel On the side of the road She’s holding a coffee can and a sign He’s clutching his umbrella; they’re waiting Waiting for the scene to change Waiting for gold at the end of the rainbow Waiting for the colors to come Waiting for the earth stop Waiting for the world to fall Waiting for the world to come undone Hands stuffed in pockets Music turned on full blast Even though I’m distant, I’m waiting Waiting for replies Waiting for inspiration to strike Waiting for the song to change Waiting for a hand to hold Waiting for a chance to let go Waiting for life to begin See and "woah!" ?^^ Currently at class.Fucking pissed off at this wanker.Feel like giving him a piece of me.Fuck his mom.Motherfucker.School ends at 6.What the fuck.Arduos indeed.Beside me right now is this fucking guitarist retard.Fuck it.Poser.Up yours.Sheesh.I'm in a bad mood now.Trying to listen to my beautiful music so that i can calm down.I hope.Anyway,Gig's next Saturday.Can't wait.Indie gig that is.But too bad nobody's tagging along.So,looks like I'm going on my own than.-_- See and "woah!" ?^^  New day at school.New classmates.New enemies.New rebellion.New rednecks.New wankers.My class mix with a bunch of 1B's.Bunch of wankers.Except for those mods in 1B. Yeah.One day.Mods all over the world will reunite.Will be back at the streets.Which calls for London calling.I want to start small.Start with my school first.All the mods in my school.With our scoots running all over searching for rockers and posers.Beat em' all up.And recite "we're the mods!" over and over again till we're dead beat.Yeah.Parka's.Martens.Scoots.Yeah.That's just a dream.Only a dream which might seems impossible to reach. So,I'm in the class.Lonely.Thinking of the sixties era.Thinking of mods whereabouts.Day dreaming.Get an inspiration for my songs.It's obvious that I'm a black sheep amongst those in my class.You could probably see it from afar.Like a flock of black birds.And u saw one rainbow birds amongst them which would be me.No more time for love.Like what Bob Marley sang "No woman no cry",indeed.It's a fact which might sound a little wee bit absurd but as a fact it is true.Fuck all this love nonsense.It's not going to happen.I mean it's a myth.Girls and boys get together because of what? "S.E.X", Fuck this shaite.Nothing but a good ol' scummy piece o' crap.Argy-bargy is indeed part of the word love.Haha.I'm a cynist.I like to be cynical.My nature.What can I do.Now,about music.My whole fucking family didn't like music except me.Be it my grandma,my uncle,my cousin,so and so.They all hate it.For no reason.Yeah fuck it if music have no future.Do I care? I want to be a fucking musician and thats my fucking decision.I'll show you scums that I can make this out.Then all of you would be begging below my knees for forgiveness.Muahahaha*evil laugh*. K bye. See and "woah!" ?^^ Sorry for the fucking long hiatus though.Been up to my guitar. Sanding (which takes 2 weeks).Drawing the desired deign on the guitar itself (Only half of a day).Than finally,spraying the desired colours on it (Three weeks to be exact).Left with spraying another coat of clear spray to make it look brand new and a little glossy.Yeah,Been spraying the "Union Jack British Design" on it.Seems okay.But,something weird and funny made me realise at the end of all that hard work.I realise that I certainly put my heart on it and when it doesn't turns out great,I feel mundane the whole day.Its like my everyday life depends on it.Yeah,that's the word."B-O-R-E-D-O-M".I want to go school again.Everyday this silly boy have to face this silly old guitar that have been smudged with spray colours.Exercise.Comp.Sleep.Play this silly old XBox.Repeatedly.Yup.Repeatedly.Ouh well.Can't go out with many people.Most were busy.Some were overseas.Some have important work to do.But the fun thing is to be all alone when I'm outside looking at nature's beauty and having quite a breeze.Somehow,music notes just came popping out of my head whenever I'm in this mood.It's like I suddenly have the urge to compose more and more songs.Too bad nobody care to listen to all my songs.If they even have.They might hate it or feel disgust because not everybody like my kind of music and hell yeah,my music sucks.My voice sucks.My guitar playing sucks.But it all came to one point.MUSIC.Music is my life.I live for it.What's my music ? Twee/Indie/Pop.What's that? Retrospectively, the term Twee/Indie/Pop was called , initially ironically,the "revolt into childhood" of its followers.Musically its key characteristics were jangling guitars, a love of sixties pop and often fey, innocent lyrics.That's why I fucking love it so much.It makes me feel reborn to an entirely new world.It truly adapts well with nature.Although,second genre in my list is Mod Revival.Sixties.A spectacular kind of era that truly moved me.That's why I'm a Mod.I'm proud to be one.Fuck whoever call me a wanker.I'm still who I am."You have to be somebody one day ain't cha?" , quote from Jimmy in the movie,Quadrophenia.Love that movie.Oh well,this is a video of mocca performing in singapore last weekend that I went.Its the Mosaic Music Festival 2009.Went there with sholehin.But met Helmi and his skinhead friend,Fee.Met along with Azhary too.^^ Its called My Only One(Sorry for the poor quality though).Enjoy^^v. See and "woah!" ?^^ It is a lunch date.Not a lunch actually.Maybe I said it wrongly to you.But you think it is a lunch then.Oh,well.*sigh* I knew I will blew it. Why I feel sad suddenly sia? Why I no mood to chat sia? Crazy uh me. Come on la. I just met her. I mean why the rush? Tmr's her camping. I hope she will be ok there. Why I felt like I care for her? As if I can manage. Hah. Stupid Faiz. You cannot make it one la. You will fail. Confirm. I'm a dork. A doofus. A slenge. A kentalan. Like as if I'm good at making her melt for me like that. Hah. Crazy Faiz. Go kill yourself. :/ See and "woah!" ?^^  Oh shit.Oh shit.What's happening to me.I mean we've just met and I feel a great sensation talking to you.I don't care if I knew your older sister but.Maybe I over reacted.Hah.As usual.But really,thanks for making me smile.Everyday i've always been looking forward to chat with you.What's wrong with me? Blaarhhh.Did you made a spell on me or something?Your smile.Can't stop thinking about it.Sheesh. *blushes* See and "woah!" ?^^ dingy feeling. cultsy feeling. putsy feeling. Songs thats so far I have composed and completed : 1. Stereoantik 2. KFC Girl 3. Nassakina Aiming to compose up to 10 songs if possible. If I had a band, I would already have sign up for Live 'N' Loaded. Oh well. Can't go to Postbox and PaddlePOP gig today. Financy problems.As usual.I NEED A JOB! Man's gig is tmr and I couldn't go too. I feel asdfdfsdfgfaa. Jolly.Jollleeeeeyyyyhhh.Trying to learn british accent.I just love british.I do not knw why.I love union jack.I love brighton.I love the smell of ENGLAND.Jyeah baybeh. ^^ See and "woah!" ?^^  I hate today.Not about my outing la.But I hate Valentines day : Like we really need another day of the year to feel like shit because we're single.Thank you effin' hallmark.Just went out jamming with Afiq,Azuan,Yati,Derick.Then met Kiki after that.Laugh here and there.Eat at Banquet,Eastpoint.Lepak for a while at the blocks near TM.Fucked up cause' theres many couple around.No place to sit.Then got home.Yesterday,Have MEED bbq.Not that much to talk about.Thats it.I'm feeling awkward just nw.Kiki come all the way to Simei just to eat dinner then went home.I dnt knw why I feel so insecure went she went home alone.Hah.Mixed feelings.Very hard to figure out.Ouh well. See and "woah!" ?^^ I can't sleep.I'm sad.I'm depressed.After I looked at all my old messages in my tag box and posts.Memories.Just one word.Mistakes.Mistakes I've done.My fault.I hate it.I'm happy for you Kiki.I'm so sorry for you Turi.I hate you Faiz. =( See and "woah!" ?^^  I hate being alone.I hate it when I have no one special to look up to.I hate valentines' day.I hate this feeling to come again.I hate when people thinks my post is boring and I keep repeating what I said.But I have the bestest friends.Does that mean I'm not really that useless? I hate to say that I have no choice but to wait but I have to.I'm jinxed.I think I am.That's it.Just pure bad luck.What is alone? Is it being all by your self? What does that mean? In soul or the mind? In love? Alone means being by your self even though your surrounded by people. People fear being alone. Some thrive on it. Some say it is a phsyicological disorder. Being alone sucks. It hurts worse if your alone when your arround people. In the end life makes incompetence. Where there is incompetence there is lonesomeness. Alone inside is what I am no one knows what I go through to live just 1 day in this wretched world no one understands what goes on inside my head & no one listens to my crys that are for help that are my writings I hate people they whine & whine over pitiful problems they were given a paradise that they've long destroyed they were favored over all the rest over all the rest of us I'm glad I am not 1 I am alone I am strange & I am alone because of it no one listens to my crys because they do not understand they think I'm happy & they think I'm normal well I've got something to tell them I'm not happy because I am alone & I'm not normal not by a long shot I'm nowhere close to normal but there is 1 thing I am I am Alone. :/ See and "woah!" ?^^ Yesterday fought with my parents.Don't want to talk about it anymore.Anyway.Ska Fest is going to happen this June.Yayness.Hope I could go out on that particular day.And this is for kiki.Since you want to knw so much why I hate rockers.This is for you.Rockers generally bought standard factory-made motorcycles and stripped them down, tuned them up and modified them to appear like racing bikes. They raced them on public roads and travelled to cafes. Largely due to their clothing styles and dirtiness, the rockers were not widely welcomed by venues such as pubs and dance halls. This attitude remained prevalent in the UK until the early 1990s, when there was a notable change in the demographics of motorcycle riders in the country. Rockers were generally reviled by the British motorcycle industry and general enthusiasts as being bad for the industry and the sport. Originally, many rockers opposed recreational drug use.The rocker fashion style was born out of necessity and practicality. They wore heavily-decorated leather motorcycle jackets; often adorned with metal studs, patches, pin badges, and sometimes an ESSO gas man trinket. When they rode their motorcycles, they usually also wore a classic open-face helmet, aviator goggles, and a white silk scarf (to protect them from the elements). Other common items included: leather caps called Kagneys, Levi's jeans, leather trousers, tall motorcycle boots (often made by Lewis Leathers), engineer boots, brothel creepers, T-shirts and Daddy-O-style shirts. Also popular was a patch declaring membership to the 59 Club of England, a church-based youth organization that later formed into a genuine motorcycle club with members all over the world. The rocker hairstyle, kept in place with Brylcreem pomade, was usually a tame or exaggerated pompadour hairstyle; as was popular with some 1950s rock 'n' roll musicians.Rockers became defined as the antitheses of their scooter-riding contemporaries, the mods. The mods and rockers conflict attracted attention in 1964 because of sensationalistic media coverage of fights between the two groups. Mods and rockers became known for Bank Holiday clashes in the southern English holiday resorts of Clacton, Margate and Brighton.There you go.I get it from mister wiki.So,I wanted to go out so badly today.But nobody's free.So wth.Home again.Sheesh.I'm darn bored.Enjoy this video below of Derick,my gay friend.He just got a wig.And gosh,he looks like goldilocks.No offence Derick.^^ See and "woah!" ?^^  Hello world.Goodbye world.Fuck you world.I hate world.I'm feeling useless once again.Wait,not once,twice,or is it thrice? Alot will do.I don't know why my appetite is reducing nowadays.My hair is fucking long and i can't sleep with my hair covering my whole ears.I think my ears will suffocate in no time.Yeah,I know.Lame as usual.-__- And i'm going to said it again one more fucking time. FUCK U WORLD. _|_ .__. _|_ See and "woah!" ?^^ Okay.Back again to be nobody.Hurray! indeed.Holidays since Friday till Tommorow.Oh yeah.Happy Tahun Baru Chinese!.-_- Boring as usual.Nobody to talk to.Nobody to go out with.This is after all my kind of life I guess ? And oh look! There will be Solar Eclipse today and right now outside my rusty window,it's pretty gloomy outside.Drats ,I missed the mountain biking course last friday.High fever is the answer.Thanks eh.So, on Wednesday will start schooling as pernormal again.OR is it? Muahahahaha (evil laughter). I hate school.That explains well.I hate being criticised.I hate school's food.I hate school's time table.I like pepperoni pizza.I hate the system there.I hate to see Derick became gay.I hate to see Bhuwan (Nepal guy) armpit hair.I like lasagna.I hate Rednecks.I hate rockers.I hate society.I hate the W O R L D ! Okay thats about it. See and "woah!" ?^^  I'm waiting for the sand to stop dripping, the clock to stop ticking all the gears to cease and lock together, I can wait forever, if need be, I will wait forever for what is dear to me. Waiting for people you rely on, promises or upcoming events. Waiting for the next day, week, month or year. Waiting for your next big move, change or accomplishment. But the question is " Where will you get by simply waiting on life?" The answer "nowhere".The truth is you need to make your own life the one worth living, not relying on others to make your life the best one you've ever lived - that is, if you believe in past lives. In this case there is no one or thing to rely on, but yourself. Why do we wait on things? In life, you should go with the flow, not be stuck waiting. If somethings not going your way, continue to do whatever needs to be done. Why hold back on life because of a certain incident? The answer to that one is that, we are afraid to take control of our life. That is why barely any change is occuring. Can it also be that we are afraid of change or to accomplish it on our own? Is it more acceptable in our minds if we see change around us, but not make the difference ourselves? If being afraid of change leads to waiting, waiting leads "nowhere", nowhere is simply an average life. Yup.Again.False hopes.With her new love.Maybe I'm invincible.That's it.Yeah.Probably.Back to waiting.And I thought you are the one though. :/ I bet next will be the same.And the next one.And the other one.It will go on.Let me see.So.This will be my fourteenth failure. Wow. A record. Yeah. :/ Studies been suckish. Family problems. Keep it coming. Maybe it is better this way. Getting all this luck. Pills just beyond my reach. I could just leave now. But I can't. What would my family think? What would my friends think? ): See and "woah!" ?^^  I feel so dead inside, Broken and shattered, My heart won't stop bleeding, And i don't know what to do. Forgotten how to smile, How to wipe away these tears. I feel lost once again. Won't somebody come out of my darkness, Out of this hell, And reach out for me. Cause I'm falling, so far down, And I'm suffocating, Won't anybody come save me? All this pain and hurt inside of me, It's like a disease, And it's killing me. Can't stop this plague, It's spreading across my world. Everyone is fading, around me. And i see their hatred and disgust, And all i want to do, is flee. I'm calling out, does no one hear me? I'm screaming into this night. Please somebody come to me, And wrap their arms around me. I feel so lost, without a friend, I feel like, this is the end. Yay Me, i'm Always lonely Always fearful Always, always feeling like the living dead I'm dying inside No one to save me Always happy So nobody worries But i always, always Feel like the living dead When will I finally Wake up from this life of death life of worry life of constant disbelief I feel like the living dead Constantly up and down Nowhere in between When will someone Be able to save me from Feeling like the living dead. See and "woah!" ?^^ Sorry didn't update for days.Comp's been a bitch.This is what happen from last saturday till yesterday. (hope I'll remember it though) :
After that went home.
Then meet the others at the void deck near the school.Hang around for a while and go home.
Then go home. Anyway.Miranda Cosgrove is cute and I heard that she loves gothic fashion.Cool ke pe.And she can sing too! Apart from her show,"iCarly".This is her music video featuring her new song, "About You Now".Oh,I love her high cheek bone.^^ See and "woah!" ? |
║Let's turn 60's║Him eh ?Tag's' eh ?.Nursery Rhyme eh ?Kawan/FriendsCategoriesCategories |
